Heart located in the Great Barrier Reef.
I’ve recently had opportunity to exchange emails with the talented and adventurous Lauren regarding Advice for the Oz Bound. In one of her encouraging and thoughtful replies was this,
"That’s what life is all about, making the best decision that you can at the time, with what you know. We will never have everything figured out, and very rarely can you be 100% sure about any single decision. But I believe that deep down, we know what is good for us. And the fact that you even have the desire to pack up and try something new already sets you way ahead of the rest. So, so few people have that interest, or would ever have the guts to actually do it, so I’m proud of you!”
I’m going to do it. I’ve been talking about going back since my return flight landed in LAX the summer of 2008 after a semester abroad. I entertained the idea of moving there after college. But then there was that awkward post-grad year of being constantly in flux, not knowing what I was doing or “supposed” to be doing with my life … but I digress. Last Spring, I started researching the different Visa options and subtly dropping hints to my family and friends.
Last summer, I began idly weaving a plan for departure. In this twenty fourth year, I will savor each of the seasons. Fall was beautiful. It almost felt like it was the loveliest fall ever and maybe it was because I had been waiting for it, or maybe it was just timing. This winter has proven to be more snow, more cold, and more ice than any other winter I can recall with an upwards of 80 inches of snow. I spent the holidays with my family and both my sisters flew up. I played my heart out this hockey season and capped it off with a 2-1 win scoring the game winning goal with five minutes left in the third period. At the end of the month, I’m flying down to visit my older sister in San Antonio for a long weekend, and toward the end of May I’m hoping to fly down to Phoenix to visit my younger sister. I will smile at the first flirting thaw of spring—the outside runs, the smell of lilacs and savor the upcoming MPLS summer of lakes, patios, camping, and friends. In July I will celebrate my golden 25th birthday and my head might explode. This September my mom is turning 60 and wants to take a trip with my sisters and me. I see this selfishly as my farewell trip; a send off.
Destiny has an Aussie friend she met randomly while in LA. He used to own one of the biggest publishing companies in Australia and then sold it. He has a house in Lennox Head (the beach where I learned to surf, which is twenty minutes or so from where I studied), and a house in Sydney. He just started another writing company and is going to start a Marketing company in Sydney. Destiny told him about my plans, and he emailed her this morning saying of course I should meet him when I get down there. She told me once, “I believe that one of my purposes in life to be the connection between all these wonderful friends I meet.”
As my loose deadline grows closer, I find myself contemplating serious and borderline essential decisions; whether to sell Big Red (my beloved truck I’ve had since my permit), when to apply for my Visa (after it’s approved you need to leave within 3 months), if I should start another part-time job like being a barista so I can save more money as well as have some Go To Skills for an easy side job etc.
I met with my old therapist last week for coffee to get his advice and input. I told him that my Mother has been voicing all of my hesitations, fears and concerns as a means to dissuade me e.g. You’re crazy to leave your job at such a great company, You will come back and be unemployed and (probably) broke, You’re making a mistake and will regret this …
He has known me since I was just sixteen and therefore also has known my parents. He told me most parents feel that it’s their Inherent Need to think logically for their children, to guide them for ‘What’s Best.’ He told me to live my life as loudly and free as possible, to not be afraid to be reckless so long as it’s not destructive. “Intuition trumps Intellect.”
I have people down there still. The best friend I made lived in the apartment below me. We Skype when our schedules and timezones align. I will have a place to stay when I arrive. This feels so possible now. And as much as I am excited, I am also scared. I’m rereading The Alchemist and feel my Personal Legend will be found in Australia or perhaps just traveling there in and of itself will do. Today after the news from Destiny, I read this by the wonderful Holly:
Go easy on yourself. At some point, even the A students need to coast for a while as a way to get their bearings and take stock on where they’re heading. It’s a strange place to find yourself torn between doing what’s ‘right’ (perfectly and predictably) and doing what ‘feels right’ (risky!) and that doesn’t always come naturally to over-thinkers and overachievers because real life isn’t a mathematic equation where water always boils at 99.97. Real life is tragically less scripted …
I certainly don’t have it all figured out, but I know this much: as long as the world keeps spinning, we’ll all get where we’re going soon enough. None of us are having babies like we were at our mother’s ages and frankly that’s a good thing, because it means we have options they never had. We’ve been empowered with the choice to put ourselves first. To have children, or not. To get married, or not. To become a bread winner, a home owner, a world traveler or a difference maker – the options are overwhelmingly limitless. We’re a new class of women who’ve been told we can do anything, be anything and there’s a certain self-imposed expectation that comes with that: to choose right…
Home is where your heart has always been: right there in your chest.
Here is to risk taking, heart following, and putting all the love you have into the universe and marveling as she loves you back. I’ve been dreaming of Fall a lot lately.
- darkillumination likes this
- myownmelt likes this
- quickandcurious likes this
- hollygonightly likes this
- jamichtaco likes this
- la-stella likes this
- restlessruminations likes this
- sammichfelge likes this
- sammichfelge reblogged this from lauren and added:
- agirlinsandiego likes this
- breannapeck likes this
- essemgee likes this
- mascarah likes this
- auradacity-of likes this
- lostbirdsings likes this
- lauren reblogged this from breannapeck and added:
- berezina likes this
- chalkfences said: you are killing me lately. <3 <3 <3
- breannapeck posted this